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Why Is My Life So Hard?

An account of a deceased man who, after returning to the world beyond, discovered the reasons for his difficult fate. His experiences are an impressive illustration of how two people can be chained together by fate and the consequences of previous earthly lives. This account shows how the divine world creates ways to transform hatred into love.

Lecture given by spirit-teacher Joseph through the medium Beatrice Brunner, 11 October 1975
Joseph: God bless you. Dear brothers and sisters, if a human being violates earthly laws, they will be punished. The punishment will correspond to the seriousness of the offense. It is the same in spirit. If one violates the spiritual laws, one will also be punished, and the severity of the punishment will likewise depend on the nature of the offense. A returnee may be punished for their offenses in the spiritual world, but when it comes to serious offenses, atonement [in a later earthly life] will be required of them. In other words: if an offense is serious in nature, it will have to be paid off to the last penny; one will have to make amends for the debt one incurred – this is spiritual law.

God is just, God is goodness, God is love. This is what the religions proclaim to human beings. But it is precisely this justice of God that not everyone is able to accept. What is to be emphasized here is that this justice is to be found in all of creation and everywhere in God’s plan of salvation. A human being who does not know the spiritual laws will have a hard time recognizing God’s justice in all things – as I highlighted, there are even believers who have difficulties coming to terms with this justice of God. This applies particularly to those people who are marked by a fate or karma, and who have lifelong difficulties, so to speak, with themselves and perhaps with their family as well – or it is within the family that they have constant problems, difficult fates, and they ask themselves why. If they see someone in their surroundings who is doing exceptionally well in life despite the fact that they do not live particularly conscientiously and are really not very honest, the believer will ask themselves, “Why is that person doing well, whereas I’m not? Why do I have difficulties, and they don’t?”

Various answers to this question can be given by the spiritual side. First of all, each human being is their own architect; they steer their ship of life with their own strength. They have the free will to make decisions that would be of benefit to themselves and also to the whole family. But, through carelessness or indifference, they can also make decisions that may harm both themselves and their surroundings. God cannot be held responsible for this. God has given human beings free will and the ability to make decisions; out of free will each person decides for themselves what they want to do and what not. They could, therefore, do many things better in life, even if they are marked by a fate in life. By acting with forethought and by living sensibly, they could soften this fate. They would also be able to bear many things with the help of their faith and their devotion to the divine; they would themselves find the answer to difficult fates if their thoughts were directed to a higher life. But if their thoughts are purely materialistic, if they think only in a worldly way, or if they are in thrall to this world with all of its transient things, they will hardly find an answer to their own fate. In contrast, those who are oriented toward God, who have a deep faith and who try to bring these divine laws to fulfilment in life, will, in time, arrive at higher personal spiritual insights and find the answer to many things themselves.

But people are not always inclined to follow the advice of their fellow human beings. Yet it would be wise to follow the advice of those whom one recognizes are on a spiritually elevated level. It is not expected of people that they follow all the advice of their fellow human beings; the individual must themselves, from within, be able to sense and identify which people they can turn to, whom they must go to for advice. They ought to get advice from those who are trustworthy, from someone who gives them the feeling that they are sympathetic and honest with them, someone who inspires trust. This also requires a certain understanding of human nature. And this ability to judge a person’s character can also be acquired over time, but it can be found only in one’s higher self, in one’s own higher being. We thus always come to speak about that which is divine; we want to direct human beings to higher spiritual laws, to that which God gives human beings, and to point out what they should strive for in order to become like him. So, one expects honesty, conscientiousness, and dependability from one’s fellow human beings. If one finds this in another, and if all this is coupled with righteousness, one may indeed trust such a person. They will surely be able to provide support and illuminate the path during the difficult hours of an individual’s fate. What we mean by “support” is not, however, simply saying a couple of kind words to the person seeking help and leaving it at that. What we mean is standing up for this person with all one’s powers and, if necessary, with the appropriate resources they need to solve their problem and their fates.

These are all ways in which spiritually oriented people can support and help one another, bringing about mutual trust and the feeling that one is on the right track. In this way one would be able to support many a seeker and solve their problems with them, or one would be able to explain why they have difficulties of one kind or another in life.

It goes without saying that the person seeking help must also be prepared to accept instruction. For it is the case among human beings that some are of goodwill and ready to do good, and others are hard-hearted and cold in their innermost being, cold in feeling, hard and stubborn in their opinions, such that one can never get through to them, try as one might. From our point of view, from the spiritual perspective, a human being’s will is of great importance: are they of goodwill, or are they hard-hearted and stubborn? Are they a stranger to goodwill, are they deceitful, malicious at every opportunity? Such people do exist. And when we speak about spiritual laws and the judgment of a wrong, whether or not the individual is of goodwill plays a significant role. If one identifies deceitfulness in them, then one knows what to expect from such an individual – and the guilty verdict will be passed accordingly.

If a deceased person enters the world beyond thinking that they were devout and righteous during life, or thinking that it suffices to have had a belief in God to then find a fitting place in the spiritual world, then they are mistaken. And those who believe that during life they were – as it is claimed – washed clean by the blood Christ and that all their sins were forgiven through the death of Christ, they too are mistaken. That is not the case.

Just consider your fellow human beings, and try to ask them, “Do you even believe in life after death? What’s the state of your Christian faith? Do you believe that Christ lives? Do you believe in God, that he exists in a world invisible to human beings? Do you believe that you, too, will continue to live after your physical death? Do you believe that it is merely the body that is dead but that the soul lives?” Try to ask your fellow human beings about this sometime. You will then see how few have a real belief in a world of God, in a world of God that is a reality, invisible to human beings; that there is an invisible world to which Christ has returned and in which – as he proclaimed to them – he will prepare a dwelling place for his own.

It is regrettable that so few concern themselves with the question of what will happen to them after death. People often reply that they will find out “soon enough” when it actually happens. Well, they should be told that it is then too late. Knowledge of the life to come is a necessity and of great significance for every single human being. It is a pity that so many people do nothing but smile when life after death is discussed. But the time will come for all of them when they will regret not having given it more thought. This is an answer for those who lack a firm belief in the other, for human beings invisible, world.

But if one calls oneself a Christian, then, in honor of Christ, one really ought to believe that he lives; it would otherwise be completely pointless to celebrate the festivals that commemorate him. Either one believes in Christ and in his world, to which he has returned – one is then entitled to celebrate these festivals – or one admits that one does not believe in him; in which case one has no right to celebrate these days. For these days are days of the Lord, and they are sacred. They are sacred to the believer, and the believer also wants them to be celebrated as something sacred. They must not be desecrated by those who do not believe. This is an answer for those who do not want to believe in life after death.

I said that God is goodness, God is justice, and this justice is to be found in creation as well as in the plan of salvation. But if people do not give more thought to this justice, they will be unable to recognize it. Nor will they find an answer as to why there are people who are so marked by a fate that no one is able to help them – if God is just, how can he allow creatures to live in this world who, compared to other human beings, are disabled. There must be a reason for this. In time, one can find this reason in spiritual teaching; but one can find and affirm it only if one seeks and is willing to accept this belief.

I always try to illustrate the spiritual laws for you by telling you about the experiences had by particular individuals. You are better able to grasp and understand them when I give you an insight into life in the other world and speak about human beings who lived in this world and who, for example – as was the case in the account I will now share with you – burden themselves so heavily that they must atone for this guilt in a later earthly life, in the manner determined by the justice and love of God. There are people who have it very hard in life: nothing works out for them, they are marked by sickness, and perhaps their own children are also marked by sicknesses or other emotional or mental disturbances, as a result of which a father, for example, who is himself already marked by sickness, hardships and troubles, has additional worries to contend with.

This particular man, whom I would now like to talk about, had a belief in God, but his belief was not deep. He believed in God in the same way that many people do: they believe in God but do not ask more about him. They do not concern themselves with the heavenly world, nor inquire into where they come from and where they are going, into the meaning and purpose of life; they pose no questions of this kind and are content merely to believe in God. But to have this belief in God and yet complain alongside it – they see nothing unusual in this, this does not bother them.

And such was the case with the man I am talking about. He wrestled with his fate and felt it to be an injustice from God that he had such a hard life with his family, even though he – so he thought – was a righteous man who never harmed anyone, whereas his neighbors, as he was forced to see, were faring very well even though they did not live as he did, but instead deceived their fellow human beings and led dishonest lives. He could not see anything of God’s justice in this. Well, he gave the matter no further thought. He believed it sufficed for him to accept God; but he did not inquire into where he came from and where he was going.

Well, the time also came for him to depart this life, and his spiritual eye was opened. And there stood his parents before his spiritual eyes. He saw them as they were in his memory, when he had still lived on earth. On the one hand he was surprised to see them, and on the other he did not reflect on it further. So, it was his parents who first explained to him that he had died and now lived in another world, that he had merely laid aside his earthly body and would now continue to live in the spiritual world as a spiritual being, just like them. He now wanted to know why he had had such a difficult earthly life and whether he now had the chance to enter a better life. His parents, however, had to reply that they could not give him a clear answer, but they wanted to draw his attention to their grandson – his son – who had chosen to commit suicide in life; it would also be a matter of caring for him.

This father now gave it some thought and asked about his son – where was he, and why had it not been possible for him to be present at his reception? Again, the parents had to tell him, “We cannot give you an answer to that; but it would be good if you tried to help him.”

But the homecomer first required some time to adjust to the new world. Indeed, it was quite a lot for him all at once: firstly, to find out that life really does go on and that he truly was alive, and then to discover that his son, who had chosen to end his own life, also lived and that he was meant to care for him. Well, how was he supposed to care for him? Everything was new to him in this world, which looked so similar to the world he had left behind. He had made the observation that the consistency of matter was different here: it was no longer of the same coarseness, though one could not yet speak of ethereality. He therefore had to be taught about this new existence, and this is what he requested. His parents were to see to it that he received more detailed instruction, and this instruction really was given to him.

I would just like to briefly describe the world he had entered: it looked like the earthly world he had left behind, very similar indeed. That is to say, he also saw houses, plants, trees; there were gardens in his vicinity. It looked so earthly, and yet it all felt different. He studied his hands: he had hands just as he did as a human, and yet they were not of flesh and blood – they were of spiritual matter. And he also began feeling the objects he could see; he touched the ground. This earth was ethereal, as were the plants he could touch, and also the objects. And yet everything looked as it does among human beings. He wanted further information on this; and this information is given to every homecomer. I do not need to go into detail on this – you have been given these explanations many times before.

It was now a matter of providing him with someone to enlighten him. And this instruction could be given only by a being whose task it was to instruct this homecomer and who would also hold him to account. This particular being who now attended to him first of all spoke words of reproach to him, presenting his latest earthly life to his spiritual eye. The homecomer thus had to hear what he had said as a human being and see what he had done. This being interjected occasionally and explained that his deeds had marked his soul. The brother took note of it.

This divine being now explained to him why he had to go through such a hard life – and could do so only by enlightening him on the cause and meaning of his life. The being thus had to refer back to a previous earthly existence in which this returned brother had burdened himself heavily. He was told, “You were marked on account of all your offenses and had to be punished. You were able to atone for a part of this in the divine world, but this was not possible for all things. Atonement in another human life was necessary for you.”

Words alone would not have sufficed to make this understandable or believable to the brother; it required additional instruction. In such cases it is necessary to give returned spirit brothers and sisters a view into the past; it must be made possible for them to review their own past, such that they are able to recognize themselves again – they must see both themselves and the deeds, the reprehensible deeds, that they committed, to see it all as though it were in the present. They are thus given proof.

The divine being who enlightened this brother now asked, “Are you prepared to help your son, who ended his own life? Do you not want to bear a portion of the debt with him? Indeed, in your human life you had great sympathy for him, you felt sorry for his fate.” And this father had to say, “I am prepared to do all I can for my former son so that he fares better in the world beyond.” For he had been told that his son was in a condition of distress; the fact that he had freely chosen to end his own life constituted a burden of guilt for him – he had failed his test and now had to endure a period of affliction. This father was prepared to do something to ease his former son’s distress. But the divine being wanted to know more: “Are you also prepared to stand up for your son? Are you prepared to accept him with love and, for a time, to walk the path with him in the spiritual world?” This meant that the father would have to take upon himself a part of his former son’s burden and share his period of distress in the spiritual world.

The father agreed to it. He had now seen what a serious debt he himself had incurred in a previous life and that his most recent earthly existence was the consequence of this: that he had had to atone somewhat, clear his debt somewhat. This he had done; but when it came to his way of thinking, his higher way of thinking, such as the world of God expects, he had not yet progressed this far. He still lacked the elevated, noble way of thinking that is expected of a true Christian; he had not yet reached this stage. For this reason the angel of God suggested that he also take a portion of his son’s debt upon himself and share his time of distress. In this manner he would be able to work off an additional burden and would not need to enter his own personal purification.

He was now told, “Your son, whom you loved in life, as you say, and for whose sake you are also prepared to share the difficult time of purification – in your former life this son was, as you once put it, your great enemy. Your enemy of that time became your biological son in your most recent life.”

He initially found this difficult to understand; but he gave it no further thought. He had only one goal: to help his son. After all, he still lived with the same feelings as before. He had not yet been in the world beyond that long, and his thinking was still all too human. In this brief time he had not yet discarded human feelings and human thoughts from his soul. He was therefore ready to share this time of distress with his son and to forgive him for everything. He wanted to know nothing more about the past, he wanted to know nothing about the fact that he had once been his enemy – he had only one desire: to bring him relief.

And that was, and is, what the world of God wants: it wants hatred to be dissolved, and it wants love to instill itself in the souls of human beings as well as in the souls of those in the beyond. They must overcome hatred, they must forget what they once inflicted upon each other out of hatred. Love is to be raised above everything; they are to draw so close to each other and be ready to live for the other and support them.

And so the spirit world of God had ordered things accordingly: this man who had to bear a difficult fate had thereby paid off an additional debt from a former life. His erstwhile enemy was given to him as a son, and he loved him, despite the fact that this son had also burdened himself severely in his previous life – hence his spiritual weakness and his new debt. The two of them were to find the path to spiritual ascent together by first meeting in love and forgiving all of each other’s debts. Through this human connection, through the bonds of family and the sense of belonging – feelings that survive earthly death and continue to exist in the beyond for a time – it came to pass that these two were reconciled, that they met each other in love, and in love tried to walk the path of ascent together.

Therein lies the justice of God, the love of God, as well as the mercy of God; it is to be found everywhere in creation and in the plan of salvation and redemption. But human beings are far removed from this; they do not find the answers. They do not find the justice of God because they are unable to look deeply enough into these divine laws, because they have no knowledge of spiritual teaching, because they give no thought to creation, to where they come from and where they are going. They do not concern themselves with the meaning of life and are consequently unable to give answers to pertinent questions. It is therefore to be recommended that every single human being inquires more deeply into the meaning of life. And it is to be recommended that every Christian aligns themselves with the higher meaning, strives for noble feelings and brings them to expression. Righteousness in all things will also be demanded of them – to live a righteous life means: taking advantage of no one, deceiving no one, being honest in all things, in every deed. In this manner they will find inner peace and spread peace in their surroundings; in this manner they influence their fellow human beings and show them the way to a higher, more beautiful, better life; in this manner they make their fellow human beings happy and content.

Just a small example from your own lives to prove this: if you have to deal with or live with people who are constantly at odds with themselves and their environment, people who are spiteful and who show no goodwill, who are only interested in deceiving, cheating, and harming others, then you are unable to be happy. You may even become ill if you have to live with such people who have no peace in their soul. To have peace in the soul also means spreading peace – peace, love, righteousness.

So, dear brothers and sisters, I think I have presented you with enough that is worth reflecting on. And so I leave you all to the blessing of God. May this blessing of God strengthen you, may it lead you to the particular insight that is essential for you, for your life. May you be guarded and protected from all distress and every danger. God bless you.

Lecture by spirit-teacher Joseph, received in German through the medium Beatrice Brunner at the Academy of Music in Zurich, 11 October 1975

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